What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
