forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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