I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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