She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
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My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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