She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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