i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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