shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
