Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
