i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
