return my video game
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
