What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Randomize