i just wanna soil my oats bro
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
