dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
nutella sex= disaster
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
