whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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