And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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