I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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