it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
