I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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