I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
