hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
