similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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