You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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