I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
