Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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