let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
