You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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