We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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