thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
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How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
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Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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