Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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