Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
