I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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