I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
