He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
