I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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