Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
