I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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