Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
