I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
