Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize