I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
