i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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