It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
