i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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