so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
