The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
