3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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