I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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