I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
