He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
