just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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