her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
