i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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