Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
