So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize