you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
