big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I am available for nakedness
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
