There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
