The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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