Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
