my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I wish life had little blips of pornography
if i died would you start the facebook group?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
