he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize