The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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