Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
