I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
bring money and cleavage
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
