I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
