Apparently you make a good broom.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
