At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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